As Alex's Hip Turns

Alright, so I’ve been checking in about this whole A-Roid saga and giving Alex a bunch of shit over the whole saga. Now that the dust has settled and the truths have been dished, I wanted to weigh back in. we now have the ‘facts’ and it’s ‘time’ to ‘dissect’ the future. [Fuck…]
The recovery time is somewhere in the neighborhood of 6-10 weeks. The discrepancy comes from the different parties. A-Rod’s brother [who has a different last name that’s not even Hispanic] said that it’s a 10-week recovery process. The Yankees have said 9 and the doctors have said as few as 6. He’s supposed to be back swinging in the box after 7 days. All this is moot though because this is a band-aid on a heart attack solution. The Sultan of Steroids is going to need another more intensive surgery in the fall. That surgery might keep him out of the 2009 opening day lineup as well. Whatever the deal is, I think there are some truths to be assessed and handed down. Who better to tell you the truth than Mr. NewFace himself? Without further ado…
There’s a guy by the name of Cody Ransom who’s going to step in a play third. I can’t claim to know how the line up is going to set out, but it’s interesting to think that they’ve added some depth in the outfield which means Godzirra doesn’t have to play the field everyday, which in turn means he can let his bat do the work [and not his knees, wow that was not supposed to be an oral sex joke]. So they’re *obviously* not going to replace the bat of Alex Rodriguez, but with some of the elder statesmen healthy and a [switch hitting] Mark Teixiera replacing Giambs, I tend to fall on the side that they can weather the storm of losing Alex. Especially when you look at the schedule….
Item number two, the first month of the season for the Yanks goes as follows – at Bal, KC, TB, home for Cle, Oak, at Bos and Det. Those are a lot of winnable games the Bombers have right off the top of the list. This could be a great time for Ransom and some of the others to get reps in a low impact setting. I can’t imagine them repeating last season’s early [and ultimately dooming] performance – not with that vegetarian’s row to start the year off.
I’m even dumb enough to think that they’ll start to struggle when A-Roid returns. They start off May with the Angels, Red Sox and Rays. I can envision that run ending 2-5 for when they hit the road to play Baltimore and Toronto. I’m a big fan of the Bill Simmons ‘Ewing Theory’. This Yankees teams reeks of that. he’s a huge contract that has become a big distraction with the Steroids Circus. Losing him hurts in the department of making Tex better, but with Matsui just DH’ing – the might be able to cover him enough to make the line up work.
As previously mentioned, A-Roid is going to need another surgery. Envisioning his May return [see above], I can also see a rough road in June/July. All of which leads me to believe that he’ll pack it in after they get swept at home by the Red Sox in early August. The will be too much. The NY media will be ripping A-Roid for not returning to his earlier career form. A sweep at home to the behated Beantown Marauders will be too much for him to come back from. He’ll decide right then that he needs the surgery right then and there, so that he can be back in time for Opening Day 2010. I’d love to say they’d continue to get better with him out of the lineup late in the season, but it might be too much of an uphill climb to make that late in the year. So my Ewing Theory might be too overmatched to work.
I must admit that it sounds kind of convoluted, but I think the Yanks will start hot without A-Roid. Then they’ll tail off he returns and the schedule gets tougher. He’ll bail in the dog days of August when they get swept by the BoSox. The Bombers will then have their work cut out for them to get into October. I’m not saying they won’t make the post season – I’m just skeptical. This goes a lot further than the Madonna-Ritchie homewrecker. I don’t think CC Sabathia will be the lefty at the top of the staff that Hank expects him to be. Ditto the middle relief. Any rate, here’s to another great summer of me bitching. Fuck Your Butt Alex Rodriguez!