Friday, April 11, 2008

Alternate Universe

This is my take on what could have been. Somehow somewhere I'm sure these things happened. Unfortunately, you will never see them. I however have an active imagination, so let me to show you.

  • Scott Hall & Kevin Nash never jumped to WCW. The nWo and dX are never formed. Hulk Hogan never goes into full on Hollywood mode. Steve Austin never wins the King of the Ring because the Curtain Call never happened. HHH is elevated too soon and he's a flash in the pan much like Scott Hall. The Rock never gets the fair shake from the Clique and moves onto WCW where he and Ric Flair have the most charismatic feud ever. WCW catapults into popularity behind Dwayne ‘People's Champ' Johnson and overtakes WWE as the no. 1 wrestling provider in North America. Randy Orton becomes a star in the WWE because he’s a legacy. John Cena never gets any higher than midcard level because the Clique holds him back and he’s not sound enough technically to last in WCW. The Revolution (Benoit, Malenko, Jericho & Saturn) never jump to WWE because Flair and Johnson are booking things the right way. Flair ALWAYS has put guys over. Mr. Kennedy isn’t Mr. Kennedy. He’s Mr. Blond and Flair loves him. Johnson sees a bit of himself in the kid. He is destined to become the next star. Batista is a sub main event star in WCW much like Luger & Sid Justice because of his impressive physique. ECW is still a massive hit, but Flair and WCW recognize its genius. When it/Heyman stumbles financially, WCW invests in it, but never takes over creative control and it grows exponentially. It’s still in 3rd as far as total revenues and gross receipts, but its fans are rabid as always and that Bingo Hall in Philly is a temple to this day. RVD, Sabu, Shelton Benjamin & The Franchise are their main stars.
  • No one believes that Dan Marino has a drug problem and he goes number one overall to the Baltimore Colts in 1983. John Elway doesn’t hold out that season, forcing the trade to the Broncos. With such a stud QB, the Colts never leave and the Baltimore Ravens never exist, meaning the Cleveland Browns never moved. Marino has a tough rookie year a la Troy Aikman, but the Colts get another high draft pick and land Irving Fryar uniting him with Dan Marino from jump street. In ’85 the Dolphins improve and have a mid first round pick where they take Jerry Rice. That trio goes on to win multiple Super Bowls and Dan Marino is held in regard as unquestionably the greatest QB to ever live.
  • John Belushi merely has a bad reaction to his speedball in 1982. He wakes in a hospital a couple weeks later and vows to lead a clean life. With his new found sobriety, he gains the focus to hone his craft and broaden his range from guerilla comedy. He becomes the greatest actor of his generation bouncing from slapstick shit head comedies to Westerns to Romantic Comedies and everyone believe his characters. Jim Belushi is only able to gain bit roles in his brother’s movies like Johnny Drama. Chris Farley grows up idolizing Belushi and sees what John goes through after the mild OD. He sees the error in his own ways at the ripe age of 18 and straightens out. He never reaches the main event status of Studio 8H, but is a legend in the improve clubs of NYC, eventually landing a big role in John Belushi’s 1990 movie the Goodfather, where Belushi plays a dead on Brando Vito Corleone in this mob movie spoof with Farley as his bumbling Fredo-like son.

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