Home Sweet Hell

I started out around 11 o’clock Sunday morning writing some witty commentary on the precedings of the previous day’s foot ball games. But somewhere around 12-12:30 I lost interest in it and found myself just kind of writing in circles, saying nothing. Then 1 o’clock came along and the New York Football Giants came out flat and the game had an odd flow, albeit one that featured two division rivals. Follow that up with the San Diego Super Chargers visiting the old hometown to take on the HomeBoys. And I have to admit it was indeed a great day.
I hate to look ahead, but I can’t help myself because I don’t think either the Iggles or Cards present much challenge to either the Baltimore Birdies (Cleveland Still Sucks) or the Black N Gold Crew. I digress, as I know the Steelers have the uphill climb of taking the three game sweep in one season to make it to the Super Bowl. Aside from that, I know that I’ve been watching sports for a quarter century and I’ve been relatively cognizant of it for about 2 decades – Damn you Barry Bonds for not throwing out Sid Bream.
Of all that sport watching, the majority of it has been dedicated to the Pittsburgh Steelers. In my lifetime, Chuck Noll retired and a guy named Bill Cowher took the helm. This led to the blown KC game in his first season. There was the Who Knew Pupunu game. And Crew Bledsoe getting his next job when he beat my boys coming off the bench to replace an injured Tom Brady. There was the spectacular run in ’95 to meet the Triplets in AZ. And most recently, the run to SB XL.
In thinking of all that, I could remember certain items when I really dedicated my mind, but everything was a little hazy. I know that in 04, we were 15-1 and Ben was the mother fucking shizznit, no more Tommy Gun Maddox – ladies and gentleman, your XFL MVP. Then he shit the bed and the Pats spanked our asses in the AFC Championship game. The next year, we were up and down. Ben started to show that he was vulnerable to injury but, we surmised, mainly to look like a superhero. We were 11-5 and seemed lucky to be such as we had to win out to clinch the 6 seed.
Then things turned in the snow game versus the Bears. I remember Bettis doing his best Bo Jackson to Brian Urlacher’s Bozzz. The actually playoffs is a haze though. I remember Kimo ruining the Cincy franchise. Ben’s season saving tackle after the sure handed Bettis fumbled on the 1. Ben doing his best gunslinger after heaving a TD at Mile High and pretty much ending Jake the Snake Plummer’s career. I know I was back in the Burgh for the Super Bowl, but for the life of me I don’t remember the game. I watch the replays on NFL Network, and so much of it looks foreign to me.
This time around I want to enjoy and remember it. So you’re all doomed to suffer as I talk about the Steelers run this season. I must say, I’m speechless today after watching this one. It was an odd feeling to watch us defer then kick off and have the ball rammed down our throats. At first I was skeptical that we’d gotten off the buses. I mean, had the gambling gods just deemd this the ‘fuck you’ round of the playoffs? Damn your trends and ‘home field’ advantages, they’re determined to ruin your kid’s college fund.
Then it all changed thanks to the legs of SanAntonio Holmes. I was sick and fucking tired of hearing about how the Chargers best chance of winning was in that third aspect of the game. They had Mike ‘the Man With the Golden Toe’ Scifres, whom I learned at the beginning of the game had an extra syllable in his name and John Madden had mispronounced it the week before – a shock I know. Well the Black N Gold took that advantage and shoved it up Norv Turner’s pooper. Santonio Wadd took it to the house. It was a thing of beauty to watch.
After that, all seemed to be right in Steeler land. Ben did his do and led a half ending drive that ended in a touchdown on a nice Willie Parker scamper off tackle. Then that deferment seemed such a nice advantage. Ben again took the boys down on a demoralizing half a quarter long scoring drive, converting what seemed like a dozen third and longs. Then the Defensive Player of the Year (heretofore known and D-POY) and Larry Foote played ‘Mine, No it’s mine’ with Phyllis Rivers first pass attempt of the half. Follow that with Eric Weddle’s header and Randall Gay’s great return (which was called back, drats). And we have ourselves a 28-10 ballgame and the Super Chasrgers had ONE offensive play and no yards in the third quarter.
I wish right then and there I wish I could have called it. But the game isn’t over until the final gun and Phyllis had some fight left in him and they made a good showing of it in the fourth quarter. It was good to see Willie Parker have himself a nice day, a buck forty-six and two touches. And old reliable, Heath Miller with the Steelers lone receiving touchdown. It was disconcerting that Hines Ward seemingly disappeared in the first half, but he recovered to finish with 4 for 70 – not Fitzgerald-esque numbers by any means, but he did have that nice 41-yarder down the sideline to set up the Parker touchdown to end the half.
All in all, it was good to watch the boys do what they do and do it better than the Chargers. Here’s to a good offseason of faith and prayer for Phyllis Rivers. Here’s to a good offseason wherein LDT can make another hill that he’ll run up and down in July, but will do nothing to strengthen his groin for November. Here’s to a good offseason of signing a running back that isn’t going to break down midseason – psssst, I don’t think that’s ‘Lightning Bug’. Moreover, here’s to next Sunday, 6:30 kick off between division rivals. Loser goes home. Winner goes to Tampa. As Mike Tomlin said after the game, if it was a scrimmage it would be big – this just happens to be the AFC Championship game.