Glowin in the Garden

So Amor won tickets for the Glow in the Dark tour from Z100 at the Garden on Tuesday night. It was a good night though we were sitting with all the young’ns who also won tickets on the radio. The crowd was quite the odd mix. You had the screaming teens who were there to see Queen of the Annoying, Rhianna. There were the skater punks there for NERD. The hip hop heads for Lupe. And all of them were there to see Kanye West.

• Lupe Fiasco – more than solid performance. I’d love to see this kid in a smaller venue though. Opening up for Kanye in the spacious MSG @ ½ capacity wasn’t conducive to him and his style. He started out by coming on stage with a Napoleon-esque war jacket replete with tails and a large frame in his hands. As it turns out, he went Gold jus that day, so he brought the plaque with him. Great set that left me wanting more and I’m hoping I might could catch him in one of the aforementioned small venues in the near future. Someone let me know if they see an ad for something along those lines.
• NERD – too many suburban youths with no real cultural vibe other than ‘I like when Rhianna repeats the syllable –ella, eh.’ Pharrell and the boys were pretty dope, but again not served for this venue. They were a mosh pit waiting to happen. They had a great vibe and were way louder than necessary, I absoluetely loved it. I gotta say though, that I’ve not been the world’s largest NERD fan, but I did go out and buy In Search Of… after the show.
• Rhianna – I was prepared to come out here and just bash this chick for being a complete whore. [Ed’s note: Dylan doesn’t mean whore in the Puritanical sense, the more proper word would be ‘shill’]. But I was impressed by the time her set finished. She came out and just kinda recited her hits verbatim adding minimal life to them. It was like a giant music video with only one set but enough skanky outfits to make a prepubescent boy wonder what exactly that strange feeling in his Fruit of the Looms was. However she infused a little life into it with a certain slow sad ballad about love lost and [finally] connected with her audience, which consisted mainly of teenage girls screaming and wanting her to repeat syllables, see above and ‘Air’, which sadly wasn’t repeated. That all changed when she finished with Umbrella and brought out her beau Chris Brown who did his ‘Cinderella – ella – ella – ella, eh?’ verse. This was another moment of actual real emoting by the young diva. I would also like it to be noted that bitch dressed like a 2000 version of the 80’s Michael Jackson – the 80s part being the hair, the 2000 part being the nose. [I used to think Lil Kim was hot til she started fuckin with her nose…]
• Kan the Louis Vuitton Don – the tour is a concept show. Ye’s spaceship is stranded in outser space and he has to find a way home. All the songs [or better said, their titles] tie into the theme of the show. And the moral of the story is that Kanye is strong enough to propel himself home. His star is so bright, he glows in the dark – hence the name of the tour. I don’t know what all I could say about the show itself. Kanye pushed that show out from his gullet. The vein bulging from his neck was downright scary. He had this weird vibe like he hated all white people and was trying to kill them with his performance. I also noticed that with his current goatee and his bulging neck vein, he looks like Joey Porter, former LB formerly of the Pittsburgh Steelers.

All in all I had a good time. I don’t know what else I could possibly say without sounding ridiculously racist because ‘white people ruined my hip hop show’ except – did you know that Jay Peterman hosts Family Feud on Ion? I didn’t, but I might watch more often now…