Tim Kurkjian is a douche bag...

There I said it. But I'll lump him in with anyone who thinks that MLB doesn't need instant replay. Timoteo is against it because:

• It'll take too long. The NFL's instant replay is such that the ref's 'go into the booth and are there for five minutes'. I'm sorry sugar tits, isn't there a 90 second timer in place? And there is a timer to keep control of the situation.
• He doesn't want to see it get to the point where people are challenging plays at the plate or at second. To me this is like the people who are afraid that they'll be able to review balls and strikes. Hey Bud + the boys - you know what's amazing: YOU'RE IN FUCKING CHARGE! You have the ability, nay the right to legislate the game. So here's what you do - you make arule that says, no judgement calls like strike zone or safe/out can be reviewed, only fair/foul, HR and fan interference calls can be reviewed.
• Then in 3-4 years, when this has become an accepted by the dinosaurs who run this league, you can consider adding plays at the plate but only to the extent of did he or didn't he touch. HOWEVER, this is rendered moot and void of review if the catcher doesn't follow through on the play and tag the baserunner in question. [Ed's Note: I'm not really a fan of this it's off the top of my head and needs refined I'm sure.]
• Why have a commissioner that looks like Steven Hawking? Fuck quantum physics, explain the fucking infield fly rule to me...From the decisions Buddy's made [tied ASG, ASG determines World Series home field advantage], I think he's paralyzed from the neck up.

I'm sorry I just had to call out TK for saying something really stupid on national television. God I hate baseball...[In case you were wondering, yes I am in last place in my fantasy league. I should be happier though cuz I'm in first in our cash rotisserie league. Big ups Miggy for putting together the winner while I play Jay Z.]

One more thing:

Dear National League - Adopt the fucking DH! Jesus titty-fucking Christ! Why is a pitcher hitting? Dontrelle Willis was one of the best hitting pitchers and he just moved to the AL. What does that tell you? Take yo' ass out the box and off the basepath. Get back in the fucking clubhouse for some treatment to loosen your arm. Now - go out there and gimme more than 100 pitches. If I'm taking the bat away you can go into the 8th. And if you can't? There's a Rican/Dominican/Cuban willing to float here on the door of my '85 Olds Delta 88 who will. And there's an off chance he'll talk funny like Sammy Soo-ser, which will make me laugh...