Sarah 'I'm only here because the GOP wants the Hillary Rodham votes' Palin has been travelling the country side dropping the ceremonial puck at various NHL venues. Her latest was at a St Louis - LA game. Being of the noble class, she and her family automatically get things the rest of us don't. For instance, they rolled out a red carpet for het from the bench to the ice so she wouldn't fall. Nevermind the fact that Ms. IOHBTGOPWTHRV is from fucking Alaska and talks like Martin Short and Dave Thomas [NOT the burger guy] on SCTV.
So with the carpet down, the St. Louis Blues take the ice. On their way through the tunnel, the players are warned that there is a carpet down. That doesn't preclude the goalie stepping awkwardly from stepping on the end, causing it to slide and him to bust his ass. Manny Legace is fresh off an All Star season and looking for the Blues to make the leap - and by leap I mean get out the basement and at least START walking up the stairs. Manolo said he felt a tweak and hoped it'd be temporary. After giving up 2 goals on 12 shots in the first period, ManLegend pulls himself and ends up with a hip injury. His reaction, "She's been pretty good for our game, eh. I'm starting to like her more and more. No grudge, eh." [Ed's. Note: Dylan may or may not have added the eh's.] I don't even know how to feel about that reaction. I did feel the need though to delve into potential reactions from other athletes around the sporting world.
Generic NBA - Did you know n!&&@s is playin' hockey now? That's some fucked up shit. I guess they might be smartest though cuz the audience is predominately white. Easier access to white bitches. Good call, yo...
Stephen Jackson (GSW not SLR)- Kraka ass kraka gettin me hurt and shit...That bitch does it again, I'ma go JO on her ass. Dap that bitch up on my way down coz...
Generic NFL - How do you expect me to feel pain when I'm so many uppers, pain killers and muscle relaxers that Heath Ledger is jealous???
Shawne Merriman - AHHHHHHHHHHHH! LIGHTS OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tiger Woods - He left the game because of a hip tweak? I won the US Open with a torn ACL. Hockey is a sport only sissies would engage in...What's that? ... I recommend your 1-Iron for this drive. Aim slightly to the left and play the uphill side of that bunker 300 yards away on a dogleg.
Generic MLB - No hablo ingles...
Dusty Baker - The lighter skinneded guys like the colder weather better...
Having said all that, it's time to wrap this shit up. I hope everyone was thoroughly offended/entertained. I'm hoping to check back in the next two weeks with a political joint. I promise to break it down Dr. Jack-style. And if you didn't see the eventual barb at the dead guy, you don't know me well enough.
PS - sticking with the theme of the deceased; if you EVER think there's a chance where I won't up a hero of mines via recycling or flippin , you must be new here. RIP HST...
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