Lupus Got Lucky

So I’m watching the Bad News Bears [the one with Walter Matthau, not that piece of shit with Billy Bob Thornton] and I think I came up with a decent drinking game to accompany the movie. The rules are to take one drink each for the following:

• Every time Tanner gets into a fight.
• Every time Tanner says crud.
• Every time the Mexican kids celebrate, just cuz it tickles me...
• Every time Matthau DUIs.
• Every time someone abuses a kid physically or emotionally [like when he calls Englebert fat]
• But my personal favorite, take a drink every time there’s a racial epithet or sexist remark, anything that generally wouldn’t be PC by today’s standards [this would make the scene where Amanda joins the team a little more exciting]

If you follow these rules, everyone should have a more pleasurable though possibly not memorable time. Remember to keep one sober person on hand at all times to photograph or otherwise record all the ensuing shenanigans. [I'd also like to make a special note for the ABC after-school special scene in the movie. Tatum O'Neal's faux tears are the best part. I'll make this the Joker's Wild portion of the broadcast. You guys choose your own.]
This is the point where the beer commercials say to enjoy the product in moderation, but we don’t vend any of those products here at DylanCorp. So thanks…and enjoy.