Sleep Study

Sleep is the window to the soul. It’s the most vulnerable time we as people have. Watch your son, daughter, niece or nephew sleep next time you get the chance. A baby lying on its back, head to one side, arms up by their heads. Sometimes their legs twitch and they look like they’re doing a frog splash. It’s almost as if the dream is too big for their tiny body. Watch them at age 3, assed out after a long day at play. Facedown in the pillow, arms stretch out at their sides, legs splayed like fall victims. They just dropped right there. Then they start to get older and sleep becomes more of an ordeal. Bed time. Tell that to any 6 year old who isn’t done watching TV. They toss and turn. Not because of money, or the 8721 account. They toss and turn because they would rather be playing, watching TV or maybe just hanging out with the grown ups. Fast forward some more and PSATs, girls, QPA and college acceptance looms. The sleep is still there and it’s good. Check out the teenager who’s an honor student, varsity athlete and involved in student activities. I bet that kid sleeps a lot. I bet there’s that one relative breaking balls that kid should be out doing something or other. But mom and dad don’t dare bother them. They know what’s going on in their kid’s mind. They’ve been there. Maybe not recently, but they know what all that teen’s doing right now AND for the future. Flash forward to the mid 20-something. Rent paid? Work-life balance? Steady girlfriend? Two?
How do you sleep when you don’t allow the not-so-nice thoughts creep into your mind on a daily basis? When you push them out because you know that no one else cares, mostly because they have them too. Theirs are most certainly different. But ask anyone from the janitor to the CEO and they’ve got money problems. Whether it’s keeping a roof over the family or affording that second cottage in Vermont for the skiing trips. We all think we have problems. But who shows them while moving about this earth like a worker drone, 9-5, 10-6, two jobs to survive?
The ones whose problems are manufactured, I bet they sleep well. They know that if the slip up a bit, there’s a ladder made of greenbacks to help them step it back up. What about the ones who have the real issues? Rent overdue. Car payment behind. Credit card bills taller than the Empire State Bldg. How do they sleep? How can they sleep? Maybe they have that 10-6 to balance it out. Maybe they don’t ever sleep. Maybe they continue to work to convince themselves that they don’t have problems.
But sleep is the only time when I can be true with myself. There’s no one left there in the dark but me. The only thing keeping me company is my thoughts. And when I get through with them, acknowledge them and finally doze off, how will I sleep? Like that 3 year old, exhausted from a long day’s play. Or tossing and turning like the ornery 6 year old, cranky because it’s bedtime again. And not because I want to keep playing, but because I have to.