NBA Trades

And don’t think I don’t have opinions on the NBA late season moves. In no particular order…

• Lakers get Gasol—highway fucking robbery. This was like the last great heist of the wild, wild west. Dr. Jerry Buss looks a lil like an old west bandit with that facial hair doesn’t he?
• Cavs get the pu pu platter—I like the Larry Hughes dump (I am cornhoolio!). Drew Gooden was expendable, but who’s going to replace him with the weird hair? First the ducktail and now the beard. I vote for Delonte cuz he’s already pretty odd looking. He and Wally World B Free are my favorite pieces of the trade. Finally a solid point for Bronnie and a white sniper. Ben is little more than a name at this point. As long as Joe Smith doesn’t have any other back door deals, he’s a decent addition to the bench. But this is little more than posturing by the Cavs. Just a different look to throw at Detroit and Boston.
• Spurs sign Damon—I remember him mainly from the Chappelle skit where he’s inhaling and leans across Sheed and stutters his name as he holds his smoke.
• NO trades for Bonzi—Who trades for cancer?
• PHX gets Big—a plodding big man for an open set team. Steve Kerr must miss television. I applaud him for the move because they had some cushion and Matrix doesn’t care about chips apparently. But I’m struggling to see how much better this makes them. NOTE: this is all moot if it frees up Amare to go for 40-25, which I think might be necessary in order to contend.
• Dallas trades AARP member for a Kidd—I see the point in him opening up the court and helping them get the easy shots early, making them less tired at crunch time. But he still doesn’t help them get the tough shots on the tough possessions. And I want you to tell me who’s guarding Parker, Nash, DeRon or CP3.
• Hou loses a 7’6” chinaman—as long as your star has a lazy eye, you’re not winning a chip.
  

I’m sure I missed something in there, but I got most of my most important thoughts on paper. And I already know, chinaman is not the accepted nomenclature dude....