After reading Pancake’s interview answers, I felt the need to respond in kind. I’m going to go down in order of the questions he originally asked.
1 – I can’t believe you fucking picked Alexander Ovechkin. This kid is my sworn mortal enemy. And you pick him to roll with. The only thing that would be worse is if you picked Eric Lindros. I can’t say enough bad things about this little cunt. I’m moving on.
2 – Again, I’m flabbergasted. I can’t believe you picked Hypnotized. That’s my least favorite Biggie song. Do know he hated that record? I know the significance of it, with the funeral and all. But I’m not a fan. I mean, of ALL the Biggie songs you could pick. Why this one?
3 – Yea, I can’t argue with this pick. As a Pittsburgher I was born and bred to hate WVU. It’s basically the safety school for everyone who can’t get into LaRoche, Point Park, Allegheny, PSU, Pitt or Duquesne. And I had to leave that St John’s team off cuz they didn’t win much of anything. I was going for championship teams with my selections. And they all were until that Cincy team, but that’s only because K-Mart got hurt in the conference tourney. I think that’s why I didn’t pick the Fab Five squad. That and that they lost to UNC. And none of them had any significant careers in the L, other than to be known as chokers.
4 – Another great pick on your part. Alas, as someone without a regular job, this would not be as totally relevant to what it is that I do. So I couldn’t go for it.
5 – C’mon. ‘I Know What Girls Like’ is a terrible record along with most of the other ones on that album. It’s so fucking weak. Volume 3 is a better album than Volume 1. It’s a sleeper album. It’s a darker Hov, the Outro record, the Dame Dash dance. I’m moving on again…
6 – I’m kinda shocked that you think Rachel McAdams and Gabby Union are first round picks. I don’t see them enough in the public conscience enough to garner first day status. How do you think LiLo falls to day 2? I think her insanity moves her to Day 1. Who doesn’t love a crazy big titted woman? Ditto Kelly Clarkson. That bitch sells how many fucking records. It’s a white bitch from American Idol that I’VE heard of. What does that tell you about her status? I do love Rachel Nichols too. Though I’m concerned about that nose in person. But she definitely is a late round pick. And good call on Sue Bird. I’ve had a crush on her since she was in school. Did I ever tell you I sat 10’ from her after she graduated? I took my sister to Swin Cash’s day camp and Sue Bird and Tamika Williams were in attendance. She was so fucking cute. I didn’t have the balls to talk to her though. I’m such a biggity bitch.
7 – If you wanted me to base it on rappers, why didn’t you fucking say so? Besides, other than Big, what other rapper ever referenced KoNY? Maybe if you were sober for more than 8 hours a day this would have been clear to me.
8 – That’s not an occupation so much as a death sentence. I declare shenaniganz on you. I don’t think you fully answered this question. Meanwhile, I declare my intentions to make and distribute adult films. Get on the ball, Pancake. I think I’ll make a movie with that title….
9 – That’s so great. I love that we allow the dumbest things to keep us from women. I have to say, back in the day my biggest joy was when someone would bring around a girl. After she left I’d immediately note her big nose, lazy eye, crooked tooth, etc. And the ‘relationship’ would be over almost immediately. I loved ruining bitches for you guys.
10 – Dude, such a good weekend. I had a glorious time. It was totally ridiculous the whole way around. You in the suit. Me in the fedora and Wu Tang shirt. All while telling people I was a doctor and you were my professor. And I still maintain that she was incorrectly describing nanotechnology. I was playing to the top of my intelligence. You just suck.
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