Thanks for the Memories, Ric

So I was expecting to sit down today and start writing out my post-WM plans. HHH should do this, Orton should do that, Kennedy should challenge him. But WWE Creative threw me a few curves last night. Don't get it twisted I'm glad to see they're still alive back there, but I'ma miss Ric Flair. Having said that, I'll put my thoughts together and post how I'd book the WWE coming up in the near future--hopefully this week...

Progress

Living a probverbial stone’s throw from Manhattan I can’t miss the skyline. It’s one of the reasons I live in Hoboken. How many biuldings are more recognizable than the Empire State Building, the Chrysler Building, Rock Center, AmEx? All the rest…I know I recognize more than that but not by name.
Being in the industry I’m in, I can’t miss the new additions to the skyline. I’ve worked in the Time Warner Center, the gaudy yet beautiful twin edifices on the Western portion of Columbus Circle. More seem to pop up everyday. And it’s not limited to Manhattan. Jersey City is sprouting high rises as well. The mix use buildings. Live on the 14th floor, work on the 41st. I could save a lot of time and money with that commute.
But where is it all leading us? Sometimes it feels like I’m looking out at the genesis of city from Blade Runner or Escape from NY. Some future city where people drive hover cars and live on the 101st floor and work on 1001st. Are we out pacing ourselves? In “I, Robot”, the robots began to interpret the three laws as they saw fit. In war, we were unable to spare ourselves. So the machines stepped in and spared us for us, with fewer casualties.
Now, I can talk to my car and it’ll play whatever song I want. MPG’s meet MP3’s—I think that’s the ad campaign. They have a car that can fax me a report of what’s wrong. But I can’t get a Cadillac that won’t rust. You can’t stop progress, that’s what I always say. But what if you should? Is there a point at which we’ve rendered ourselves obsolete? I don’t mean to spell gloom and doom and I don’t imply that we’re headed for Armageddon in my own lifetime. I simply say that we might be sowing the seeds. Buildings soar ever higher. There is little left to discover globally, so we reach to the heavens—the unknown. Yet, weariness in the present abounds. Those in the know removed Pluto as a planet. Now I think it’s back in cuz more bodies were found which share similarities with Pluto and the douche bags looking through the telescope wanted some real recognition.
Don’t ask what my point is on this one. I was walking down Wash Blvd in Jersey City over the weekend and noticed that the new Trump building nearing completion. Last week, I had the chance to stand on top of the Plaza Hotel and look out over Central Park. I could see all the way to Harlem. It was the most serene experience. It had an instant calming effect. Though it might have just been all the old money, because when I turned to my left I could see the TWC and it made me feel competitive. Like I had to strive harder to make more of something for someone. I think progress is a good word for that. I know I can, but I wonder if I should…

Past Life

I was talking to Amor the other day about past lives. (We were driving back to the ‘Burgh and in the 6 hour car trip we kinda went off on a tangent with some questions. It was pretty cool actually, cuz we touched on some things we’d never really delved deeply into before. It was nice to talk about new things.) She carries a belief that we all had past lives and we continue to evolve and move up in stature from one life to the next. I don’t know if I believe in this per se, but I did like the idea that we carry on from one life to the next with the same soul.
So it got me thinking about who I might have been in a past life. And I came to a startling conclusion in my own head. I was Len Bias. I can hear your impending aneurism from over here so allow me to explain.

• I love basketball. This has been reaffirmed this year as I’ve stopped my confliction with the sport and come back to watching/following it. Only now I’ve moved onto the L.
  I never did cocaine, but that’s only cuz I realize that if I were to try, I’m sure I’d buy. Everyday, until I died. Hard drugs aside, I had some pretty unhealthy party habits back in the day. I have an addictive personality. I was addicted trumpet, then bball, then alcohol & now performance art.
• I carry a soft spot for Maryland. Mom dukes has always spoken fondly of the state for some reason, something with her father and UMd, where Bias went to school. Pops is a fan of the Grateful Dead and there’s always been a photo of Terrapin Station around, album art, t-shirts, posters or magazine covers. UMd’s mascot is the Terrapin.
• Pops was also a C’s fan from back in the day. He had this green Celtics jacket that he wore everywhere when I was little. It was like the late-80s answer to the Members Only jacket for tall, lanky white guys. And now, one of my favorite players is a Celt (Big Ticket). Red Auerbach was a deity in my household too. We had those old instructional videos with Bird, Red and heavy cigar smoke that I used to watch all the time when I was tryna figure out roundball.
• Len Bias was black. Now I know what you’re thinking. “D, you are not African American.” And outwardly, you may be right. But deep down, I’m black. I love hip hop. Fried chicken and watermelon are my two favorite foods. I have rhythm. I rap. Sorta. I love ugly white women with big asses. (Ed’s note: Dylan is in a loving, committed relationship with a beautiful Spanish girl. He has not dated a white girl in years.)

So after she said this and I went through my inner monologue a few days later, this is what I came up with. And I got excited. I started thinking that everything made sense. Then I wiki’d it to see when Len Bias died. It was 1986. Rats. Now I have no clue who I mighta been....

Pre-WrestleMania

I promised a pre-WM look at the booking I'd do coming out of WM and here it is...

• With Jeff Hardy out of action (regardless of the reason) there is an open MITB match slot. I realize there’s going to be a battle royal to fight Chavo for the ECW title later in the night, but make the Flair/HBK a qualifying match for the MITB. This would set up 2 angles.
• HBK wins and enters the MITB match. This gives WWE someone of noteworthiness to book to win the match and makes any of the 3 possible match ups intriguing.
• Cena—Rematch of WM 23.
• Orton—Put HBK out of action in ’07 with the head punt
• HHH—Anyone ever heard of DX? (I’ll get to this a little further down.)
• I feel that this is the better idea though. Let Flair beat HBK. Everything has been pointing to Flair’s impending retirement, but why not pull the bait and switch? I’m sorry but no one is shelling out $55 just to see Ric’s “last match”. And USA brass has been pushing for bigger things to happen on Raw.
• Flair enters the MITB and wins. Don’t ask me how the old bastard climbs the ladder but he’s not the dirtiest player for nothing.
• Have Ric come out at the end of the main event and punk the champion and assert that he’s too old to wait for another title shot. He’s cashing in his MITB on Raw 3/31. This really works if HHH wins, which isn’t a stretch to anyone’s imagination because:
• HHH missed last year’s WM via injury (in a match with Orton)
• HHH is/was Orton’s mentor
• HHH was eliminated by John Cena at the Rumble
• HHH has 2 kids with Stephanie McMahon
• The next night on Raw you have a main event that ‘oughta put butts in the seats.’
• Creative looked to be setting up a Show/Y2J feud (from Show’s appearance on Hightlight Reel). I hope this is a real attempt to elevate the IC ‘Chip. These are two (former) main eventers. I don’t see the future of this though. I’d like to see them leading towards stables still. This might be a good launching point.
• Imagine Show, Umaga, JBL and a heel-to-be-named-later (good spot to elevate Snitsky since VKM allegedly loves him so) vs. Jericho, Kennedy & Carlito.
• I know those last two are currently heels, but Y2J once was too. Why can’t we go back to the anti-heroes? I think both of those two could learn as much from Jericho as anyone else on the roster. In this feud, they’d be the faces but really they could just be the lesser of two evils. The rest of the time they could be play both sides against everyone else. Plus, because they’ve all shown egoism in the past, wouldn’t the name the ‘Human Highlights’ be a good name for them? [Disclaimer: Dylan’s writing this at 7AM after working half the night.] Then you can have either of the group’s winning the mid-level belts and defending the titles under Freebird rules.
• Plus, if Snitsky is the 4th of the heel squad, he could also learn a lot. Show could point him to the buffet table. Umaga could teach him to speak more incoherently making his terrible promos more bearable. JBL could coach him in the ring.
• You could always align HBK with the Human Highlights because he’s an egotistical prick (or so he’s said) from way back.
• When Hardy returns, he plays true face to the heels and Santino could be the pesky heel wanna-be who always gets his ass kicked tryna run with the big dogs. Both have held the IC within the last year.
• Burchill and his sister-fucking self can also be a face along side London, Kendrick & Rhodes.
  Hardy & Rhodes can play the ‘Lone Wolf’ roles and take on the big bad machines as needed.
• Coming out of WM, I’d bet bottom dollar that HHH is the champ.
• If Flair wins the MITB, you have the aforementioned fight. Then you head into a rematch program, preferably with Orton. (I think Cena is still going off to film 16 Rounds, another reason he won’t win in Orlando.) You can run that one until at least Backlash in late April and set him up for something new for the summer. Does Y2J/Show get (back) into the title picture so quickly? (Y2J had a title shot almost immediately, why doesn’t Show get one?) That can get you through One Night Stand. Then you’re in mid summer, facing down SummerSlam. Maybe, HBK comes forward and says he wants one more day in the sun. Who better to fight for the ‘chip than his old pal Hunter? Somewhere along the line though, HBK kinda screws HHH and we get to SummerSlam with good heat. Head into the fall with a Cena return building to HHH/Cena @ Survivor Series.
• If HBK wins the MITB. I think you go right to the Orton rematch and proceed along the same lines. Only, maybe you have HBK with the heel turn mid-summer leading to a SS match with good heat.
• Maria, because of her newly released Playboy cover wins the Women’s title from the Glamazon aka Boobie McMandible. She proceeds to fellate me.
• I would like to take a moment and recognize Mi Amor for being the most compassionate and understanding woman in the world. I love you sweetheart.

But that's what I wish VKM and the crew would be working toward for the summer.

Field of 65....

It’s been another interesting opening weekend for the NCAA Men’s field of 65. Brackets have been busted. Final fours have been finagled. And in some cases, champions have been challenged. Alliteration aside, we’re gonna step away from the paid players and delve into the collegiate ranks for a night.
With the Sweet 16 set (I didn’t mean to do that), questions loom large and answers are sure to come. Which bodes better for the future, UCLA’s harrowing escape versus or UNC’s trashing of back-to-back opponents? Does UCLA now have ‘game experience’, meaning they won’t get rattled next time someone shakes the cage? Does UNC have enough mo’ that they’ll never get touched? I’m honestly more impressed by UCLA’s first two games. No, they didn’t play perfectly like UNC. But their game experience should serve them well should they be playing March 5th down 6 late in the second half. How will UNC react to similar circumstances if they run through next weekend as they did this one?
G’Town and Pitt waged war for the Big East ‘Chip. Now, neither will be in the Sweet 16. The Hoyas torched Nova and WVU to reach the Big East finals. Pitt beat L’Ville impressively in the conference quarters. Those three ‘losers’ are now moving on in the Big Dance, even though they couldn’t win the Big East. I guess those days rest meant more than the momentum Pitt carried into the madness.
In saying that, I prove my theories on UNC and UCLA to be wrong. UNC has tons of momentum and UCLA had to fight tooth and nail. I know there are more than these two programs remaining, but I still think they have the best chance of winning. What it’ll come down to is the ability to make shots, play D and, most importantly, rebound. Then there’s the match ups, Furious T vs. Love & Collison vs. Lawson. I think if Love can match Hansbrough’s production, I have to give the Bruin’s backcourt the edge over the Heels. I’m putting this out there cuz I had Pitt and G’Town in my Final Four and my bracket just went from Lindsay to Britney…

It was a good run.....

Last night, the Boston Celtics ended the Houston Rockets 22-game winning streak. Today everyone is talking about the end of the streak and how it signals the downfall of the Rockets in the West. I’d like to see how they rebound with this next road trip (NO, GS & Phx). Houston has two things flying right now. Number one, they are adapting to playing without out Yao. This includes multiple bigs (Scola, Deke & Landry), yet less of a focus on that hulking presence in the paint. Number 2, did Boston really re-invent the wheel by denying T-Mac the ball and forcing Luther ‘Gimme’ Head, Bobby ‘No Relation’ Jackson, ‘Sugar’ Shane Battier & Skip to beat them? That seems like the best possible idea, unless it’s May. Once its time for Mexican Memorial Day, I wanna Tracy ‘I-can-see-both-of-you’ McGrady do something.
And I’d be remiss if I neglected to mention that Boston has a comeback win in San Antone & a 20-pt W now in Houston. They’re going for the ‘trifecter’ on Thursday. (Why is that Bostonians drop the R in car, yet add one to anything that ends in A? Trifecta, Plaza, etc.) The C’s are 22-4 vs. the West. They’ve beaten Detroit in Beantown and the D. And lost close twice each in Cle & Orl. All I’m tryna say is that the C’s can hang with the West teams, they play a nice brand of left coast ball. They can stretch the floor & spread the floor. But of the 12 glorious year that Big Ticket spent in the West Conference, how many times did he beat TD or the Diesel? They have to show me they can beat the bigs in the L. Howard and the Pistons frontcourt—who’s guarding who? Is KG gonna D up LBJ? Tune in starting this April for the answers to these questions and MORE!

Royal Rumble Fallout

If you're not a big wrestling fan, you might should skip this column. I will be speaking of things you aren't familiar with and don't feel like explaining. Coming out of the Royal Rumble, Miggy and I were discussing the merits of the WWE and creative and what storylines were and weren't working. We then came to discuss what we'd do. I ended up putting together a whole outline on it. Keep in mind this is from post-RR (January) and some of this has changed.

• World Strap
• Orton retains at No Way Out—CLEANLY
  i. For the love of God is it too much to ask that your champion wins a match cleanly and looks dominant?
• HHH wins the Elim Chamber match to be the no. one contender
• Have Cena get a little dirt on him after NWO
  i. Punk Orton
• 3-way at WM
  i. Hunter wins by pinning Cena
• At WM, Flair wins the MITB match
• Flair cashes in on the next raw and loses to Hunter
• Cena is named no. one contender cuz he ‘lost’ at WM
  i. Cena/Hunter culminates at One Night Stand with HHH winning
• Orton then inserts himself into the title picture because he didn’t lose at WM
  i. Orton/HHH @ SummerSlam
• Tag Team
• Rhodes/Holly lose the belts under a cloud of scrutiny to Highlanders
• Have one of them turn
  i. If it’s Holly, he blames the kid for his loss and is going to make him pay by buddying up with William Regal and giving Cody ridiculous matches he could never possibly win
  ii. If you have Cody turn, it could become interesting. He blames Holly for losing his first belt. They go back to fighting each other only now Cody is winning their matches. Cody declares himself done with Holly and starts nipping at HBK’s heels for the IC belt
• JBL/Umanga are a dynamic duo after the EC match and win the tag gold
• London/Kendrick lay claim to no. one spot and ultimately lose by ONS
• Cryme Tyme return to feud through SS
• CT wins belts leading to Umaga/JBL feud
• IC
• Coming out of NWO and the EC Match, HBK and Hardy have beef
  i. This can elevate the belt to meaning something again
• Hardy and HBK fight for the belt in a Ladder match at WM
• HBK wins it
• Kennedy becomes no. one contender by having a great showing at the MITB match at WM
• Kennedy and Rhodes form an alliance to get the belt away from HBK
• Set up for Kennedy/HBK @ ONS where HBK wins
• Next night on Raw, Cody Rhodes vows revenge and defeats HBK
• Kennedy expects Rhodes to ‘Fingerpoke of Doom’ for him to get the belt
• Rhodes refuses and they beef leading to a SS match
• Y2J/Hardy
• Come out of the EC match with beef and feud through the summer
• Perfect for an Extreme Rules match at ONS

Like I said, some of this stuff has passed--Jericho already beat Hardy for the IC strap, but that still might be a good return angle for Hardy later this summer. This will be a recurring thing too. I have another one I put together pre-WrestleMania. I suppose, I'll do one around the PPVs from here on. And if WWE isn't your thing, no hard feelings skipping these posts. Otherwise, enjoy.